


Learn to Ride

by nightnday1223



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Columbus Blue Jackets, F/M, Fluff, Horseback Riding, a teeny bit of french, childish humour, pld being cute what's new, so many innuendos, some of it is google translate bc my skills are a bit rusty so don't judge if it's wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 08:49:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17321810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightnday1223/pseuds/nightnday1223
Summary: This is basically gonna be a super fluffy fic about teaching PLD how to ride (a horse) because I'm an equestrian and I haven't ridden in like 6 months and I really miss it, plus I'm angry at my home team rn and they don't deserve to have anything written about them.





	Learn to Ride

You drove up the dirt road towards the barn, with your boyfriend Pierre sitting in the passenger seat. You had finally convinced him to let you teach him how to ride a horse and you couldn't be more excited. You had already gone to buy him a helmet and boots because even though he insisted he could just wear a hockey helmet you had to explain they weren't the same thing and you didn't want to be responsible for one of CBJ's star players getting a concussion. You pulled him towards the door excitedly, looking forward to getting payback for the time he tried to teach you how to skate. You walked down the aisle between the stalls, Pierre admiring the horses as you walked by.  
"Pick a horse, any horse," you said with a cheeky grin on your face. Pierre pointed to the tallest horse in the barn, a young grumpy bay mare.  
"Ok I may have lied, pick ALMOST any horse. She's too tall and grouchy, not great for your first time."  
"That's what he said," said Pierre under his breath hoping you wouldn't hear, but you still heard him and picked up a crop from the ground and tapping his thigh with it.  
"Hey! That's my job!" said Pierre unamused as you raised the crop and threatened to hit him again.  
"If you're done being immature, I think this horse would be perfect for you," you stated as you pointed to a short grey mare who would put up with Pierre's antics.  
"But it's so short, that'll be no fun," Pierre pouted.  
You couldn't resist spitting out, "that's what she said" before explaining, "it just means you've got a shorter distance to fall if something happens."  
You brought the mare out of her stall and led her to the cross ties where you helped Pierre brush her and tack her up. He put on his helmet and boots while you led the horse into the arena and put her on a lunge line. He walked in and stood there like a deer in the headlights, unsure of what to do with himself.  
"Come over here and stand on the mounting block," you instructed, pointing at the wooden mounting block in front of you. He walked over quickly and stood on top of it, looking to you for further instruction.  
"Good. Now put your left foot in the stirrup, the metal thing at the end of that leather strap."  
"This foot?"  
"Noooo your other left. Yes Luc, that foot. Don't put it too far through though, the ball of your foot should be on the bottom of the stirrup. Then push off the mounting block and swing your right leg over and sit in the saddle. Careful to not kick her in the butt, you don't want make her angry already."  
You watched with an amused look on your face as Luc shakily swung his leg over the mare's back and sat down in the saddle, gripping the front for stability. You explained how to hold the reins, and watched as Luc's tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on what you were teaching him. You explained to him that you would handle the steering for now and that he just had to sit there as still as possible, not moving his hands or legs. You taught him how to get the horse to walk and how to stop.  
"You ready?"  
"No."  
"Too bad. Tell her to walk on."  
Luc made a quiet clucking sound and gently squeezed with his lower legs, and the mare began to slowly walk forward. You heard Pierre muttering under his breath in French, probably cursing.  
"En anglais s'il te plaît. Je ne suis pas Québécoise, je ne peux pas te comprendre," you chirp at him, knowing if he spoke up you'd likely only be able to pick out one or two words from the gibberish he insisted was Quebecois French. He gave you a dirty look as the horse continued to walk in a slow circle.  
"Ready to change directions?"  
"I guess, I want this to be over as soon as possible," he mumbled, as he brought the horse to a halt. You swapped the lunge line to the other side and Pierre encouraged the horse to walk on again. After a few more minutes you decided the horse and Luc were probably ready to trot.  
"Do you wanna try going a little faster?" you asked and Luc gave you a panicked look.  
"Usually I would say yes but I'm not so sure right now..."  
"Oh my goodness you'll be fine. If you wanna stop yourself from bouncing around squeeze hard with your thighs. Pretend you're trying to crush a watermelon."  
"Ahhhhh I see. I just have to pretend to be you trying to crush my head while I-"  
"Finish that sentence, I dare you." Pierre just stuck his tongue out and grabbed the front of the saddle, ready to hold on for dear life. You clucked at the grey mare and she began to walk for a few moments before picking up the trot. Luc bounced slightly, looking like he's enjoying himself but also convinced he's going to die at any second.  
"Utilise tes jambes!!" you encouraged, and he quickly began to put his long legs to good use, no longer bouncing around like a rag doll.  
"Très bien, tu es essentiellement un expert maintenant."  
"Merci beaucoup, j'ai appris du meilleur."  
You smiled at Luc and you helped him dismount, his legs quivering slightly once he landed on the ground. You proceeded to get on the horse and finish exercising it with Luc watching from the ground. You finished warming up and cantered around a simple course once or twice before cooling the horse out. Pierre helped you untack her, feed her, and put her away.  
"You know what I noticed today?"  
"What is it now, Pierre."  
"Your butt looks fantastic when you ride."

**Author's Note:**

> Translation for the little bit of French: "In English, please. I'm not from Quebec, I can't understand you."  
> "Use your legs!!"  
> "Very good, you're practically an expert now."  
> "Thanks, I learned from the best."  
> As a Canadian who knows a fair amount of French I can 100% confirm that Quebecois French is VERY different from the French spoken in France. People from Quebec have a different accent and don't really enunciate the middle of their words very well. Combine that with speaking extremely fast, random English words thrown in, and random French words that Quebecois people have made up entirely and it usually sounds like gibberish to anyone from outside of the province. Look up a video of that boy speaking French and even if you know the language it still just sounds like a mess.


End file.
